So You’re Thinking About Joining the Peace Corps………?
-Connor J. Kamada, RPCV Senegal, 2005-7
I have only been back a few months and already my Peace Corps service feels like a distant memory. While I was going through the COS (close of service) process last August, I was asked to write about my thoughts as a gay Peace Corps volunteer. Although I have not had much time to put my two years of service into perspective, I want to share my experience to encourage prospective LGBTQ volunteers as well as offer my support to the Peace Corps community. They say that no two Peace Corps services are alike, however I hope that my experience can shed some light on what prospective LGBTQ and minority volunteers can expect in deciding to join the Peace Corps.
Growing up, I used to watch a lot of documentary films and spend countless hours flipping through past issues of National Geographic. I fantasized about trekking across the Sahara Desert, exploring the Amazon and discovering ancient ruins in the Middle East. I was a precocious kid, eager to be independent and free too explore the world. Perhaps my childhood exposure to Tintin and Babar with their pro-colonial and imperial undertones contributed to my naïve and romanticized view of living abroad. While my parents were fully supportive of my interests and passions, they were not hesitant to ground me and provide me with a little prospective. As an undergraduate, I studied Economics and French, with the idea of working abroad. My dual discipline led me to a strong interest in developmental economics, more specifically in West Africa. Like many undergraduates, I was unsure what I wanted to do with my life aside from traveling and avoiding the realities and responsibilities of being an adult. Although my liberal arts education provided me with a solid intellectual foundation, it did not prepare me for life outside of the academic arena. After graduating I followed my colleagues and did what was expected: pursue a competitive career track with a high earning potential. Although I enjoyed the challenge of banking, I felt like it was not the right fit for me. I did what was expected and experienced the corporate world, now it was time to pursue my real passion.
Joining the Peace Corps had always been something I had considered in the back of my mind. However I had several concerns that made me a little ambivalent about joining. First, I was nervous about making a commitment and devoting my life to two years of service abroad. I was also concerned how my sexual orientation and ethnicity (I am Korean-American) were going to affect my service. Having my sights set on French speaking West Africa, I knew that there would be safety and security concerns about my homosexuality. My final decision to accept an assignment with the Peace Corps was not made impulsively. I spent a lot of time doing as much research as possible to get a rough idea of what I could expect. I found the resources online to be the most useful. I could not believe how many volunteers were blogging about their experience. Some of the blogs I read were inspiring and uplifting, while others were depressing and dark. I also attended several local recruiting events and contacted every person and acquaintance I knew that had experience with the Peace Corps. Despite all of my research, I still did not have a clear and concrete idea of what I was getting myself into. I did learn however that it was unrealistic to join the program with rigid expectations. I needed to be open and flexible for the unexpected. No matter how many stories or blogs I read or listened to, it would have been impossible to predict what my Peace Corps service would be like.
Although I spent a lot of time reconciling my hesitation and concerns about serving as a gay volunteer in a predominantly Muslim country, I never thought about how my sexual orientation would affect my relationship with the Peace Corps administration and fellow volunteers. I suppose I was somewhat naïve coming from a progressive and liberal background. I just assumed that the volunteers were all going to be like minded, and that perhaps a few of them would be gay, lesbian or bisexual. I thought that all of the other volunteers joined the program with the same motivations and interests. As you can imagine, I was surprised when I arrived at staging to meet an extremely diverse group of individuals, from all over the United States. My first few weeks getting to know the other volunteers was overwhelming, especially once I was pegged as the “gay volunteer.” I was surprised at some of the negative reaction I received when I discretely disclosed my sexual orientation. There were some people who were extremely supportive, while there were others who were not. My altruistic desire to be a visible resource for other volunteers as well as a representative was perceived as being political and abrasive, especially when I started voicing my concerns about the lack of resources for lesbian and gay volunteers. It was so strange for me to suddenly be defined by the people around me solely based on my sexual orientation. At home in California, being Asian and gay was just a part of who I was, not my entire identity.
Instead of feeling sorry for myself and getting upset, I decided to be proactive during my first few months in country. I was not going to let the issue with my sexual orientation interfere with my ability to successfully serve as a volunteer. I was not the only one struggling, there were several other volunteers in my training group that were also having a rough time. Within the first week, four people chose to leave the program. I was determined that I was not going to be one of the volunteers to ET (early terminate). I decided to share my concerns and frustrations with the country director who seemed to be somewhat receptive and understanding. However he made me feel like I was a liability to the program that he had to contain and control. He seemed worried that I was going to cause a stir. I was actually told that if I could not agree to be closeted, that I would be potentially administratively separated for being reckless with my safety and security. I completely understood the importance and necessity about being discrete with my sexuality among the host country nationals; however I thought it was ridiculous to be asked to be in the closet at the training center. You can imagine how stunned I was when my director made a reference to the “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Policy.” I could not understand why the program in Senegal was so unaccommodating to LGB volunteers, yet so accommodating for every other minority group; from older volunteers to African American volunteers. Even the host country nationals who worked with the Peace Corps were trained on American diversity issues. Why were LGB issues not included? Why were Peace Corps programs in other countries ahead of the program in Senegal in terms of support and outreach to LGB volunteers?
Despite my frustration over the shortcomings of the Peace Corps to provide adequate support for LGB volunteers, my attitude changed after going on a “Demystification” trip. During my first few weeks, I was sent along with the other trainees to various sites around Senegal to shadow current volunteers and observe their work and daily life. Getting out of the training center and being around the Senegalese was a good distraction from my frustrations with the administration. It reminded me why I chose to join the Peace Corps and come to Senegal. I wanted to share my experiences, knowledge and education with the Senegalese as well as learn more about their culture and perspectives. Being a volunteer is about stepping outside ourselves and our comfort zones. Although it was my service, it was not just about me, it was about the Senegalese and my commitment to serve, enlighten and learn from them. I could accept the lack of understanding and disapproval of my sexual orientation from the Senegalese; however I could not be as lenient and understanding with the Peace Corps. When I returned to the training center, I was determined to keep advocating for increased LGB support.
I cannot begin to describe how positive and life changing my experience was as a volunteer in Senegal. Although I faced many challenges, similar and dissimilar to my colleagues, the experience made me stronger. The administration in Senegal may have had some shortcomings during the beginning of my service and most likely still has some faults. However the amount of work, heart and dedication that Peace Corps Senegal has invested in Senegal cannot be overshadowed. My dealings with the administration definitely grounded me and taught me about patience and tolerance. No organization is flawless. However with that said, it is important though for an organization to be receptive to criticism and change. As a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer, I truly believe in the goals and commitments of the Peace Corps. Not all the programs maybe perfect, but as volunteers, you have the ability to initiate change and make improvements.
If you are thinking about joining the Peace Corps, I highly recommend it. It is an amazing learning and growth opportunity. Sexual orientation should not be a deterring factor for potential volunteers. The Peace Corps needs the talent of LGB volunteers to serve and represent the diversity of the United States. Hopefully one day in the future, being a gay volunteer will not be such an issue as it is today. Until the day that full equality is achieved, we as s minority community need to continue to support one another and stand up for our rights.
Connor Kamada can be contacted at ckamada@sas.upenn.edu.
|
